I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it's like iHOP with fire
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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