Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
