She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
