I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
