FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
