New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize