I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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