Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I would ride that face into the sunset
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
