Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
