yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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