i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
