My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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