the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
