her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
