FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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