yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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