My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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