And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
