69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
