it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
