I puked a lego.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
