make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
