It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
