"it" just moved
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
