Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
