I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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