All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
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I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
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Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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