The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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