you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
