Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
