she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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