Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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