I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
