ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
