he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
