i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
