so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
