all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
