It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
