just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
