Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
