There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
