your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize