I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
