It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
