I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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