can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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