don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
