I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
