the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
