so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
