There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
