I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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