My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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