i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize