doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
