the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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