the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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