is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
