I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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