im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we're making bets on your personal life
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
