they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
