Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
