Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
two words: eviction party
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
