ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
two words...techno handjob
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
