FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
