All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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